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So, um, Maniac huh? Another infamous supposedly shocking slasher pic. I’ve always preferred slasher movies to monster/sci-fi stuff, so I was anxious to dig into this one, especially because it was right smack in the middle of the worst lineup in movie night history (Buried Alive, The Terror Within, *cough* The House That Vanished, and Cthulhu Mansion had previously abused us that night). Sadly, this movie was pretty much boring and disappointing. That’s not to say there were no redeeming qualities. Here’s what happens: Our story begins with some pervert watching a couple kids in love on a beach. The man leaves for a minute, and our mysterious voyeur, most likely sensing her loneliness and need for male companionship, makes his move. He proceeds to cut her throat with a straight razor. Her guy friend returns and is taken out with a chain. AAAAAH! A sweaty guy wakes up screaming (from the look of things, he must have come down with a bad case of Richard Kielitis). He looks around his room, which is cluttered with a bunch of mannequins, one of which is bloody. Our hero, let’s call him Maniac, then goes out for a night on the town (or you could say he’s going to paint the town red). He finds two prostitutes standing outside. Maniac purchases the services of one, and they get a hotel room. She begins to pleasure him, and he seems to be having a good time. But alas, things turn ugly (and the relationship had so much potential) and he strangles her till she dies. Then, he gets all sad on us, pukes into the sink, and begins to weep. This new sensitive side is short-lived, however, and he regains his composure and scalps her. It’s pretty graphic, too. He takes his prize back to the reservation. Once he returns, things get really weird on us. He begins to think some pretty odd thoughts about his mannequins. This is our first hint that this guy may be off his nut a little. Later, he grabs a large gun and goes out once again, but not without taking precious time to offer a doll a peanut. The next thing I know, there’s movie makeup guru Tom Savini in a car with a girl. Not unlike you’d suspect, they begin to engage in filthy un-Christian sex. Maniac sees this and gets out of his car and approaches the car, shotgun in hand. He makes it around the car a few times, when Mrs. Savini sees him. She tells Tom, who gets out to investigate. He finds nothing and returns to finish the job. As he does, Maniac springs onto the hood, and proceeds to blow his fucking head off in one of Mr. Savini’s greatest FX moments. I challenge you to find a more realistic exploding head. He then shoots her (it’s left to our imagination, though.) Back at the house, Maniac is listening a police report about the killings. He begins to talk to his mannequins again. Cut to a playground. Two ladies are watching their kids swinging. One takes off on his bike, and runs into, guess who out on an afternoon stroll. He notices a woman taking photographs in the park. He finds her camera bag on the ground and reads the address. Later, he peers into a store window with lots of mannequins. Cut to a hospital (huh?), where two nurses are just finishing their shifts. Maniac is across the street watching. One walks home, he follows. She descends to the subway, he follows. Soon, she realizes she’s being followed by a lumpy sweaty guy and begins to run. Unfortunately for her, she misses her train, and is left alone with Maniac. She decides to hide in a stall (if she was looking for the script that was probably the best place to start). He comes in, and checks all the other stalls. She then assumes he’s given up and left for good, just like you or I would, and goes back out into the open. Maniac kills her with a knife in the back. Back at the pad, Maniac is talking to a mannequin about a bloody scalp (it must be their 4th anniversary, that’s the bloody scalp anniversary). Meanwhile, in a dark room, photographer lady is developing pictures. Someone is at the door, who could it be? It’s Maniac, and he’s returning the lost camera bag. They talk for a spell, and later they go out to dinner. Later, at a photo shoot, we find Maniac’s new love interest taking some pictures of a model. Maniac appears, and lifts a necklace from the model. Next, we find ourselves at the model’s home, where she’s preparing to take a bath. *Knock Knock* It’s Speedy Delivery Guy, and he’s got a package. Maniac returns the lost necklace and then leaves. She gets into the bathtub. Somehow, she makes it through the bath without getting abducted or killed, I guess this movie isn’t as stupid and predictable as I though. She gets some tea, but Maniac returns and takes her in a sack, a to go order if you will. Now we’re back at Maniac’s humble abode, where he’s talking to her as though she’s one of his mannequins. She isn’t dead, though. He kills her, and tells her he loves her. SSSCALP! After a little target practice, Maniac calls his photographer girlfriend, and they decide to go to a show. He picks her up, but they make a detour to a cemetery to pay respects to Maniac’s deceases mother. Did I mention this movie’s a little weird? He snaps, strangles her, and repeats “Rita, no!” She gets away from him, though. After sneaking up behind him, she hits him with a shovel and runs away. Maniac begins to cry for his mom, and after a little while of that, he begins to hear her voice. He flashes back to some traumatic incidents, therefore establishing the basis of his psychosis, if you care about that sort of thing. He crawls to her grave and hallucinates her grabbing him from under. This movie should have quit when it was ahead about twenty minutes ago. Now he’s home. As he lays in bed, his mannequins become animate and butcher him, eventually tearing his head off. That’s pretty cool. Daylight. The police bust into the Maniac Mansion (remember that show?) He’s bloody. They assume he’s dead, so they leave (?) His eye opens. Thankfully, there was no sequel. This may sound pretty cool, but that’s only if you grade it Cliff’s Notes. The exploding head scene stands out as a highlight, as does yet another “A” job by Savini in the makeup department. There are also a few genuinely creepy moments. As for me, I’ve always enjoyed sadism in my killer, as I’ve always thought sadistic psychos are far more terrifying than any mutant Hell creature. On the down side, there’s way too much tedious exposition which really bogs the movie down. A lot of it’s pretty boneheaded and predictable, as well. In hindsight, Maniac would have been a lot better had it been viewed without any hype or high expectations. As it is, however, Maniac is a disappointing yawn fest that would have been really good had it been fifty minutes long. What's a BrainWave?
Fistula
Ferox
Ragnarok Begin.
I've heard gooey things about this movie. Let's watch.
Fuck the Media Releasing Co.
10 Min.
This is the guy that sits next to me on the ski lift all the time.
He's old. He's fat. He's Fedeler in 30 years.
20 Min.
This guy may have some problems.
He's a maniac, maniac, and he's ranting...ah, put the gun down. I'll stop.
30 Min.
Fuck right.
I wonder how you go about rigging your own head to explode?
40 Min.
She's getting on the NIGHT TRAAAIN TO MUNDO FIIINE!
This movie's kinda boring me. I wish I was having sex with Malorie instead.
50 Min.
Dear, we're going to make you just fabulous. You're just waiting to happen.
7-Up furnished the money to buy all the maniac's 70's porn star clothes.
60 Min.
Hi, it's the maniac. I heard your bathtub filling. Can I be of assistance?
These people are jumping accents like drunken bullfrogs.
70 Min.
YAAAAWWWNNN!
I wonder if Christy Swanson is trapped in any of those mannequins?
80 Min.
This should end soon.
This is really scary what with the smoke and the flowers and everything.
End.
This movie would be immaculate if it was only 50 minutes and it cut out the expo crap.
Uh...do cops just leave the scene for someone else to fing if the criminal is already dead? Huh.
[Guest Review!] >> Fedeler: I was feeling anti-this movie and tired. After the exploding head scene things were boring. I don't feel as though I missed anything by sleeping through this movie. 2-ish Brother Fistula: Well, it came in all hyped up to be something great, and it sure as hell didn't come through. It did, however, have a pretty good look at the life of a psycho killer, and had a good head explosion. 3
Recommended by: Brothers Fistula and Ragnarok Agh! The mannequins are chasing me!
