Jackie Vernon
Stepping into the squared
circle, everyone's
favorite creepy
cannibalistic
comedian Jackie
Vernon. Does anyone
doubt he's going
straight to the
top? We'll see. Who
stands in his way?
|
Vs.
| Donald Pleasance
No slouch himself, Donald
has been brought
back to flex his
mettle. His task
"loomis" tall, he's
drawn the worst card
in the tournament.
Get your tickets
now, Donald may not
be around for long.
|
The Rulings
Fistula;
Hey, I'm as big a Donald Pleasance fan as anyone. But come
on, if you think I'm voting against Jackie, you deserve to go
in the microwave with the rest of them. Jackie doesn't even need
the pepper shaker. Jackie digs in with his hands, and Donald is
again assumed into B-movie heaven. No offense.
WINNER: Jackie Vernon
Ferox;
Jackie and Don square off, taunting each other. Don
suddenly gets a determined look in his eye, and he rushes
towards Jackie. "Huzzah!" Jackie shouts at the crowd - and
at his friends from the rennaisance festival that are in the
crowd! Rennaisance festival friend guys stand up, jump on
their horses, and charge the mat. Don is too stunned to
react, and several friggin' lances go directly through his
gut. Hey, I'm trying to be original. There was no real
fight. Sorry, Don fans.
WINNER: Jackie Vernon
Ragnarok;
As hard a time as I have voting against someone that worked
with Tom Baker, there's no hope against Saint Jackie. Ol'
Jackie was in the mood for some fresh fruit before he came into
the ring, but the catering service only had stale coffee and
a wrinkled orange. His craving goes into overdrive when he
sees Donald's balding cranium. Hunger causing him to
hallucinate a cantelope, he sinks his teeth into Pleasance's
head.
WINNER: Jackie Vernon
|