The Rulings
Fistula;
Dr. Butcher comes to the ring with an enterage of
zombie cohorts, but Maniac hasn't come alone, he's flanked
by a shopping cart filled with his love interests;
mannequins! As he sets them in humorous poses around
the ring, Dr. Butcher jumps his bones and assaults him
with sharp left hands. Maniac is a little beefier than
the doctor, though, and turns the tables by slamming
him into the ring stairs with brute strength. What ensues
is one of the more brutal beatings ever handed out, as
Maniac launches Dr. Butcher all around the ring in a frenzy
of violence. He discards the doctor to the floor and gets
ready to finish this massacre, he launches him over to the
corner, but Dr. Butcher summons the strength to reverse
it and he slings Maniac into his mannequin cart, sending
one of them sky high. It flies out into the crowd, where
it is passed around like a beach ball at a Van Halen
concert. Maniac, oblivious to this turn of events, crawls
back into the ring. However, with the referee distracted
by Dr. Butcher, one of the zombies takes a cheap shot,
knocking Maniac to the brink of unconsciousness. The ref
saw it though, and kicks all of the zombies out of the
ringside area. The damage has been done, though, and Dr.
Butcher prepares for his signiature maneuver, the frontal
lobotomy (a modified jawbreaker)! He positions the
Maniac's jaw on the top of his (Dr. Butcher's) head, but
just as he prepares to kill him, Dr. Butcher catches
something out of the corner of his eye...the mannequin is
falling from the rafters! It lands about eight feet away
from his, but it's left arm flies off, hitting Dr. Butcher
in the back and temporarily stunning him. This gives
Maniac time to regain his senses, and he sees what's
happened to his beloved Laura. Like a fire under his ass,
the rage sends Maniac into a fury. He claws into Dr.
Butcher's chest with his fingernails, crashing through to
the ribs and begins ripping vital organs from his chest.
The manneqin arrived at the intensive car unit twenty minutes
later, but was pronouned dead on arrival.
WINNER: Maniac
Ferox;
Hold on here, we can’t forget about the mannequin
that’s in Doctor Butcher here! The Maniac and Doctor
Butcher each send forth their minions with an agreement
that whoever’s follower dies has to skewer themselves
with a ninja sword. The zombies eat burritos as the
window-jumping mannequin and the pretty mannequin face
off. Window-jumping mannequin immediately scampers up
to the top ropes and launches itself at the pretty one.
Eager to fly off of another high place, the mannequin
jumps without even calibrating itself. CRACK! Window-
jumping mannequin loses both of its arms. Pretty
Mannequin could win right now, except for the fact that
it has a problem: It has fallen in love with window-
jumping mannequin’s daring feats! It attempts to kiss
Window-jumping mannequin, but instead crushes it with
the weight of a thousand dumb things. Butcher, seeing
his fiend die, takes the sword from its cradle. Oh no!
The cradle is one of filth! The cradle’s evil manifests
itself in Dr. Butcher’s mind, and the Doctor realizes
what he must do - he must butcher The Maniac! They run
at each other with sharp-edged weapons drawn, and the
Doctor raises the sword above his head. Just as Butcher
is about to cut The Maniac as one would slice a large
portion of steak to chew on it, The Maniac has a thought
and chucks the knife into Butcher’s head. The sword
and Butcher fall down and Butcher’s sword embeds itself
in The Maniac’s leg. The Maniac limps away - injured,
yet victorious. WINNER: The Maniac
Ragnarok;
All in all, Dr. Butcher is more dangerous than the
Maniac, because Dr. Butcher has zombies. The Maniac
attempts to take down Dr. Butcher, sending a mannequin
after him. Its arm promptly falls off and it drops
from the ring. An army of Dr. Butcher’s zombie slaves
shuffle into the ring. Now all Dr. Butcher has to do
is fend off the larger man until they make it to the ring.
Dodging knife thrusts left and right, the Doc runs circles
around the Maniac who, in a confused insane rage, stumbles
from the ring and into the arms of the waiting zombie
slaves. The Maniac is rended limb from limb, and Dr.
Butcher stands victorious without a scratch.
WINNER: Dr. Butcher
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