Bruce Campbell;The greatest actor of all time, star of the
immortal Evil Dead Trilogy as well as many
roles in countless movies,
vs.
Kurt Russel;
John Carpenter's posterboy, star of The Thing,
Escape from New York, and L.A, and Big
Trouble in Little China.
Let's get ready to rumble!
Rulings:
Fedeler: Well, I have seen Campbell's Evil Dead
Trilogy, and they were wonderful. I have seen Kurt's
Escape from New York(good), but I have also seen
The Thing. It was horrible. I am going to say
Bruce wins this one.
Brother Fistula: My opinion shouldn't even count for
this one because I hate Kurt Russel. Escape from
L.A. was one of the gooiest piles of goat spunk I ever
saw. Bruce Campbell kicks his ass completely and
thoroughly.
Brother Ferox: ... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Wow,
these guys need some serious brain-shockage (they need
idears) ... Bruce Campbell... what were you thinkin,
that Kurt Russel could beat anyone? No. Kurt Russel loses.
Brother Ragnarok: Well, as much as Kurt Russel could
kick your ass, Brother Ferox, Campbell would mop
the floor with his head. No contest.
Winner by unanimous decision: Bruce Campbell
Second match:
Chris;
The goofy fucker from Cthulhu Mansion who gets
shot in the leg and then walks by as an extra in
the next scene
vs.
May's severed head;
The diabolically inclined cranium from
Microwave Massacre.
And heeeeere we go!
Rulings:
Fedeler: May's head would, correction, will kick Chris'
ass. Come on now, she killed Donald, who by himself would
get Chris. Plus she has sweet glowing eyes.
Brother Fistula: Whoa! Hold on there Fedeler. You've
got some good arguments, anyone who can kill Jackie Vernon
can hold their own. In my book, anyone who gets shot in the
leg and then walks fine 2 minutes later is one tough sum
bitch. This one goes till the 12th round, Chris wins. Plus,
he put up with Vandiver. Mental toughness, Chris as well.
Brother Ferox: Whilst I agree with Brother Fistula that
Fedeler has a good point or two, I have to say that May's
head is going to have one hell of a time with this guy, though
he is one goofy bastard. When May's head defeated Jackie
Vernon, it was through careful planning and strategic
maneuvers... Chris has no pacemaker. Though her scary eyes
would blind Chris for awile, it would NOT stop him. I say
that Chris would boot May's head through a few windows with
his iron legs and then finish her by summoning "Cthulhu" upon
her. Chris wins.
Brother Ragnarok: Y'know, I was gonna vote for May's head,
but after reading Brother Ferox and Fistula's takes on it
changed my mind. While May's head is talented, being able
to kill Jackie Vernon, Chris has the rest of his body to
fight with, plus he's infested with fake-Cthulhionic fungus
or something, and he has a gun. Chris takes home this
trophy.