One Trendy Fuck By Ferox
When school fucks off for the summer, I'm a happy fellow. I've never really had the ambition to get a job during the summer months, but that's OK because at least I'm not going to school, right? But school is like a drugged-out Santa Claus - you know it's coming, but you're not exactly happy to sit on its lap and tell it what you want, if you catch my drift.
Now, besides the fact that my drift should have blown you off of the roof, my general point is that anyone in college has to look forward to school at some point in the summer if only to build a mental nuclear bomb shelter to prepare for the coming months. I'm not big on shopping, but I had to notice a few weeks ago that I could probably use some new clothes. I did what any sane, respectable fellow would do: I went looking for wearstuffs online, primarily at Hottopic.com
Hold your tongues, sirs and madams, because I refuse to accept the oral lashings that I know many of you are giving me for even mentioning such a place as Hot Topic. Unfortunately they happen to be about the last place that I know of that supplies certain things that I dig, such as fairly large pants [note: I do not condone pants that span states unless they're being used to shelter the needy and homeless or being used as a parachute by Chuck Norris or they're used to see how many friends of yours can fit in 'em]. Since such is the case, I tend to rely on them from time to time. I won't even get into the pants issue, I've gone over it far too many goddamn times.
I was wandering about in their shirt section trying to find something worth wearing when I came across the shirt with The Code on it. For those who aren't down with the enn-ee-ess [8 bits of motherfuckin' fun], that's what you throw down on the olde-school controllers in order to have thirty lives in Contra. I've been playing a lot of Contra lately, what with the NES hooked up at my place, so I've been up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-b-a-select-startin' like a motherfucker. When I saw the abovementioned shirt, I immediately commenced dancing as per the revolution's demands.
Then I started thinking about trends and how shitty it is to be associated with stupid mass-hysteria crap in the first place. This is a sticky issue for me and, I'm sure, for a lot of you as well. The thing is, all of us fall into certain places on the trendometer. Some people just like to eat certain cereals that they see a lot of advertisements for whilst otherwise countering every culture that they can think of. Others buy into every damn shitty trend that comes out day after day. The thing is, it's a tough line to draw. Would I be crossing it if I were to grab that olde-school shirt?
In order to answer that question, several key issues must be pondered and determined. I've got to decide first where I fall on the trendometer, and then I've got to look at how trendy this particular shirt is.
First of all, it's tough to call myself an "outsider" or whatever people who pretend like they're something completely unique call themselves. However, I tend to also violently verbally attack those who live their lives dependant on what's popular moment by moment. I have, in my day, shouted my fair share of "aaazzzaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!" [or "wassup" or whatever retarded way they spell it] and then some, and I'm not afraid to give off a warm "WHARZTH'BAHR?" [where's the beer?] when it's called for. If I spot someone with an upside-down and backwards visor, though, I have a tough time not loosing my angry knuckles.
I think that the best way to describe my situation is that I latch onto something if it serves my purposes, but not just because it's there. If my friends respond well to "aaazzzaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!!", then why not use it? It's fun and it's more of a social accessory than anything. On the other hand, wearing a visor upside-down and cunt-backwards makes the visor 150% ineffective, effectively serving no purpose.
Mayhaps some of you are saying "Nay, that visor's positioning and whereabouts are used as a social accessory for those who would otherwise not be accepted by their peers. Frown." To this reasoning I shout "Bah cumbubble!!". The difference is that my devices are used as accessories, and I absolutely don't make friends because of what trends I latch onto, it only gives myself and existing friends something to relate to. I'm not making friends for what trends I dig into - but those people are. That's why what I do is a social accessory and what they do is a social tool - and a villainous one at that!
With the points directly above being made, the second portion of this query is made simple. The shirt is effective to me partially because of my own nostalgia, but also because of the shared nostalgia that those of my generation can get into easily enough. The big question then is this: "Would this shirt be used as a social accessory, enabling my existing friends to enjoy what I've got on my clothing - or would it be a social tool, used desperately to make friends among those who might otherwise shun me and look disapprovingly in my direction??"
I think that I can safely say that although a random fellow or two might see the symbols upon my chestclothing and mention that it's a "wicked rockin' shirt", there's not one person that I'll become friends with because of the shirt that I wouldn't otherwise have because friends with. Certain people get along with me and I get along with certain people, and I don't think that it takes any kind of trend to tell between my kind of people and anti-my kind of people.
That's why this shirt is a social accessory, not a social tool, and why I must - as an up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-b-a-select-starter - have this violently awesome embroidered fabric. After all - who's gonna get through Contra on three lives and how much fun are they having? Good luck, sucker.
Okay, now how about clicking here to
read some more complaints? Otherwise I'll eat your toe-jam!