Happy Columbine Day!

    
By Brother Ragnarok



      So, did everyone have a happy Columbine Day?  What’s that?
You’re offended and thought what I said was in bad taste?
Then SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO WATCH CNN FOR FIVE MINUTES!
Because this whole goddamn thing has turned into a national
fucking holiday.  You can even get out of school with and
excused absence if you say you’re scared and feel unsafe.
No shit.  Is it just me, or is this fucking ridiculous?
Now, as far as I know, no one from my school took the day
off, ‘least not for that reason.  I sure as hell didn’t,
because if anyone does any shootin’ there it’ll be me,
which I ain’t gonna do (waste of good ammo on those retards),
and if any little underclassman boner threatens anything
I’ll laugh at him and snap his damn neck.



      But I digress.  Let’s re-rail this rant, shall we?
How long is it going to take for these ass-flogging imbeciles
to figure out that if we quit makin’ such a bloody circus out
of this, it’ll go away?  Every new shooting that happens,
every damn news station shows all the graphic killing, plays
the vulgar tapes of the threats, and shows the sobbing friends
and family of the victims right after they ask ‘em, “So what
did you feel when you saw Tammy’s brain explode out the back
of her head and dribble down the wall?”  Meanwhile all the
other kids who got one too many swirlies are oilin’ up their
.45’s goin’, “Huh huh, cool.  I’m gonna be on TV.”  If the news
media would stop giving these crazies national airtime and makin’
‘em stars, they’d eventually go away!  I really don’t understand
how Channel 6 News at Six can show a picture of little Billy
with a fire ax rammed through his face, and then say Marilyn
Manson and Doom caused the boy’s death.  Trust me, these kids
killin’ their classmates were a few cruisers short of an armada
before they ever picked up that Nintendo controller.


      And then we got the crazy Republican parents all huffy
sayin’ we can’t even use the WORD violence in school.  For
example, there’s a poet named Ted Hughes, who was banned in
some places and is still quite controversial because his writing
reveals just how violent and savage people still are.  Ah, but
we don’t want to admit that, do we?  The fact that real bloodshed
and atrocities are still being committed should just be covered up,
because we wouldn’t actually want to EXERT OURSELVES BY ADDRESSING
THE FUCKING PROBLEM NOW WOULD WE?  Why, that may even mean that
you fucking priss-ass cheerleaders and white-collar redneck
doctor’s sons football players and your worthless, spineless
parents would have to admit that you’re wrong, and that you could
even have to SHOW SOME GODDAMN COMPASSION TO PEOPLE WHO AREN’T
QUITE AS SUGAR AND FUCKING SPICE PERFECT AS YOUR SORRY YUPPIE
ASSES!  Here’s a novel idea for those of you addressed in the
above paragraph.  Treat those people who aren’t exactly like you
as though they were human beings and maybe they’ll be nice enough
to return the favor by not ventilating your chest with a 12 gauge.



      If we could just treat everyone with a little humanity,
and be a touch more sensitive about these things in the news when
they do happen, all this crazy shit will go away in ten years or
less.  I promise.  Doesn’t really sound all that hard, does it?
I’m surprised more people haven’t figured this out.  Don’t make me
have to tell you again.




Okay, now how about clicking here to

 read some more complaints? We didn't type them for nothing!