The Brotherhood of Bad Movies

Click on any description for the full text

The Title
The Writer
The Description

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The Alchemist Brother Ragnarok Silly demons and the guy from Parasite menace a girl, a wuss

in a sweater, and a leftover from Manimal in The Alchemist.

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Alien Prey Brother Ragnarok Cat aliens plan an invasion of Earth and send the loveable

Anders Anderson to get the lay of the land - and some lesbians - in Alien Prey.

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American Ninja Brother Fistula All the 80's white-bread ninja action you can handle!

No more text, fool!

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Barn of the Blood Llama Brother Ragnarok

Barn of the Blood Llama. Hell yeah! This movie is a beautiful

gem! We love you Kevin West!!!

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Beyond Darkness Brother Ragnarok

Thought The Exorcist and Hellraiser were good movies, did you?

Wanna feel cheap and used for thinking that? Check out this steaming load.

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B-Fest 2002 Brother Ragnarok
Brother Fistula
Brother Ferox We finally got off our lazy asses, cashed in our change drawers, and

drove to Chicago for B-Fest 2002. Thankfully, the city wasn't destroyed

by the presence of our massive reviewing powers. Still, despite the lack

of destruction it was a hell of a good time.

it was a hell of a good time.

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B-Fest 2003 Brother Ragnarok
Brother Fistula In which Brothers Ragnarok and Fistula DE-FUcKING-STROY Chicago for

the second time, and in which Ferox is a cuntbucket fuckrag urethrafucker

for not going.

Text for WHO? NO TEXT FOR YOUR FACE!!

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Bio-Hazard Brother Ragnarok

When the blue moon hoops, then you scoobily-poop in a

goddamned loop, duped into purchasing shoes thrown through Husker-Du.

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The Blade Master Brother Ragnarok

Come hangglide with us to the land of Ator, in The Blade

Master. If you don't have a hangglider, four-wheelers are welcome.

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Blood Orgy Brother Fistula

Blood Orgy. Sounds cool, right? Probably not. H.G. Lewis is

something else. Damn circus music.

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Brain Dead Brother Ragnarok

Hey, wanna be confused? Go rent Brain Dead. It's a nice

kinda confused, really. It's wack, j'all.

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Buried Alive Brother Ragnarok

What can we say about Buried Alive? It sucks. We

blacklisted it. Burn it in Hell.

C.H.U.D. Brother Ragnarok

The sewers of New York are overflowing with C.H.U.D.!

No more text, fool!

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Cthulhu Mansion Brother Ragnarok

Look at my nipple! Stay away from the Coke! Check

out Cthulhu Mansion!

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Dagon Brother Ragnarok

"What say you, Englishman? Shall we have tea and skrumpets

or destroy the evil that haunts that thar town?" "By jove, let's let them go to the sea. Fucking bastards, the lot of them." Fish incest!!!

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Dead Alive Brother Ragnarok

This is one of the greatest movies ever made. Go out and

get Dead Alive today. No, I mean, like, right now. Seriously. Do it.

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Death Ship Brother Ragnarok

Death Shit...I mean Ship. Woof.

No more text, fool!

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Demonicus Brother Fistula So, should you spend your hard earned cash on renting

Demonicus? HELL NO! Use it for something good. Go buy a Clutch record.

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Devil's Rain, The Brother Fistula

I like it. That'd be Ferox. Except that maybe not. Oh,

you'll see - just wait until grandma finishes the holiday meatballs. Plus this movie has Shatner, LaVey, Borgnine, and Skerritt. But it does NOT HAVE TRAVOLTA.

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Educating Rita Brother Fistula

Wanna educate yourself? Go read Everybody Poops. As for

Educating Rita, fuck it. Use it to wipe your parrot's ass or something.

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The Eternal Brother Ragnarok

Ancient Druids, killer shapeshifting mummies, occult

assassins and Christopher Walken! Sound exciting? YOU FUCKING WISH!

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Female Plasma Suckers Brother Ragnarok

Foy bowled a 150. Female Plasma Suckers sucks arse.

No more text, fool!

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Future War Brother Fistula

Fucking thumbs..... fucking.... thumbs..... must

find my.... fucking.... thumbs before...... fucking......... blood..... fucking............. dead.

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The Glove Brother Ragnarok

The Glove. Starring John Saxon and Fat Albert or

someone. Get it away. Banned. Yuck.

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Gamera: Guardian
of the Universe Brother Ragnarok

Dear Diary: Today a creepy pedophile gave me a

little metal bead and it gave me a psychic link with a 300-foot tall turtle.

Happy Hell Night Brother Ragnarok

Happy Hell Night is here! And you thought an annoying

roommate was the worst thing about college!

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The House That Vanished Brother Ragnarok

We feel it is our responsibility to warn everyone about

The House That Vanished. This movie hurts. A lot.

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The Human Factor Brother Ragnarok

The Human Factor. It chased us. We killed it. One more

victory in the War Against Kennedy!

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Inframan Brother Ragnarok

Move over, Power Rangers, here comes Infra Man!!!

No more text, fool!

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The Invisible Dead Brother Ragnarok

Unveiling the French's new secret weapon: stupid

movies about invisible monkey boys...

J/K

NO!!!

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Legend of the Chupacabra Brother Ragnarok

Troma used to impress Brother Ferox more than any

other film company ever. Thanks for Chupacabra, Troma!

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Make Them Die Slowly Brother Ragnarok

Here's an interesting little piece of Italian cannibalism;

Make Them Die Slowly. Banned in 31 countries. Check it out.

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Maniac Brother Fistula

One of the more disappointing movie night flicks. Maniac

wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

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Microwave Massacre Brother Ragnarok

Ladies and gentlemen, take a look at what we know about

our first review ever: Microwave Massacre!!

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Night Of The Demon Brother Ragnarok

It's called Night of the Demon. You'd think there'd be

demons in it, right? Think again.

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One Dark Night Brother Fistula The Penguin, the Riddler, and the Joker steal an atomic

submarine and demise an evil plan to dehydrate all the world's leaders and keep them in spice jars in their kitchen. Also in the news: Oh my god, are you British?!?

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The Pack Brother Ragnarok Even fighting killer dogs, Joe Don can't leave the booze

at home.

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Pinocchio's Revenge Brother Fistula Motherfucking social commentaries.... we hate just about all

of 'em, except for Heironymous Merkin and that kind of thing and the moral lessons from He-Man, G.I. Joe, the Ninja Motherfucking Turtles and the like... but here's a great example of the kind we don't like. You shouldn't like it either, you goddamned terrorist communist antichristular hippy of a bastard!

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Plan 9 from Outer Space Brother Fistula

Ex-professional wrestler, titan of the horror genre, and

overall sweetest Swedish dude that we know of - Tor Johnson shines in Plan 9 From Outer Space.

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NO!!!

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The Rats Brother Ragnarok

The Rat King lures the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles deep

into the sewers of New York where he has a special surprise waiting for them!! In other news, Beast Man: Savage Henchman!!

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Robo Vampire Brother Ragnarok

Beware the fuckin' sparks.

NOOOOOO text. Or springs, for that Family Matters.

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Shaker Run Brother Ragnarok

Pink Firebirds, deadly genetically engineered viruses,

Leif Garrett, and beans. What more could a British scientist ask for? Perhaps to be in a better movie?

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Space Mutiny Brother Ragnarok

Peshak found a Nine Inch Nails disc that I had lost amongst

my dad's discs [Meatloaf, Whitesnake, you know, cock rock]. Now read the review to Space Mutiny and SUFFER!!

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Split Second Brother Ragnarok

Grab a cup of coffee, some chocolate, and a big, big fucking

gun, and sit back and enjoy Split Second. [Ferox's note: Ragnarok just might have dethroned me there for the title of Captain Comma]

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Star Crystal Brother Ragnarok

Star Crystal. Crystal of the Staaaars! Well, that's what the

song says. Go play some checkers.

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The Terror Within Brother Ragnarok

The Terror Within. Well, whatever.

No more text, fool!

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Two Thousand Maniacs Brother Ragnarok

Should have been called 'Two Thousand Crazy-Ass Motherfuckers

Who Will Chew Your Christless Face Off and Destroy Your Children's Sanctity Forever, You Motherfucker', but then shouldn't all movies be called that?

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The Undying Brain Brother Ragnarok

Damn that crazy maintenance guy for killing Al Adamson and

burying him under the hot tub. Here's to you, Al.

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NO!!!

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Werewolf Brother Fistula

Even a man who is European at heart and says his prayers

at night may become a bad werewolf costume when the wolfsbane blooms and the moon is full and bright.

X/Y/Z

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NO!!!

Back to the Index, yo!